I was unable to accomplish my second goal of having a complete draft of Cursed Names finished by May 6th. There are a lot of reasons for it but they all boil down to just one. I did not pray and seek God's will before I made my goals. I know it seems like a small, silly thing. But to me it isn't. Just about every major decision in my life I've made without praying and seeking God first have always blown up in my face. Whether it was accepting a job, or choosing to date someone, or coming up with a plot for a book. Without fail, if what I wanted wasn't in God's plan for me it ended badly. Finished Cursed Names in the timing I wanted was definitely not what God wanted.
Last week I was house/babysitting for my cousins, who were on vacation. Not only was I deprived of sleep, but I also stressed myself out way more than necessary trying to find time to write. I had such a hard time writing that I ended up staring at my computer screen more than anything. By day two of my staring at a blank screen I put my computer aside and did my devotions. I hadn't set time aside for devotions for a few days and I really needed to refocus on what was important in my life (especially since everything felt like it was going wrong.) I read the chapter titled the Secret of Contentment in Every Day with Jesus by Greg Laurie, and let me tell you that really put things back in perspective for me. The chapter talks about how we need to put aside what we want and seek God's kingdom first to find the things we need. I'll admit reading the chapter and realizing I was doing just that really stung, like a thousand bees attacked me sort of thing. So I took a step back and prayed about what I should do. God helped me make a new more realistic second goal that I know I will be able to keep up with.
My goal is to write from 5,000 to 10,000 words everyday and to pray before I begin writing.
No dates. No stressing myself out. And no shutting God out.
This time I'm doing it His way not mine.
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