Thanksgiving. The one day a year where we share what we are thankful for and have a wonderful feast with those we love. If your family is anything like mine then some years there is drama, some years it is quiet, and others the laughs are as bountiful as the food. This year I had a great thanksgiving with plenty of food and many shared laughs with my family. But I have to be honest I didn't share what I was thankful for. And let's be really honest know I haven't shared what I am thankful for in a very long time. I haven't even given it much thought. So I am going to change that right now.
I am thankful for each and every person in my life who has stayed or gone because in many ways they have helped me become the person I am now.
I am thankful for my family who encourage me and challenge me.
I am thankful for my job even though I truly hate it at times.
I am thankful for the house I live in.
I am thankful for my car despite how much it may frustrate me.
I am thankful for my collection of books, movies, and Batman memorabilia 'cause who doesn't love stuff.
I am thankful for my freedom.
I am thankful for so many things that to list them all we'd be here for a very long time. So I will leave you with one last thing I know many are thankful for.
I am thankful for my God who gave me everything I have and gives everything I need.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
It's Been Awhile...
Wow I haven't a regular post for a while. Sorry about that. It's not that I've been super busy or anything just had a major case of laziness the last few weeks. So here's a quick update of what's been going on. I had my court hearing for the speeding ticket I got back in May and let me tell you the Lord worked everything out. I'm still amazed by the Judge's ruling, probably always will be. The Judge dismissed the fine for not having insurance because I have insurance now and she deferred my speeding ticket so it will not being going on my record as long as I don't get pulled over in the next six months. Praise the Lord for that!
Next, I have a job at Wendy's. I've been working for Wendy's since the end of June. I'll admit that at times I really, really hate my job just as the saying goes it isn't a job unless you hate it. But I've had this great financial peace since I got my first paycheck that I have never felt in all my years working at other jobs. It feels like even though I hate my job at times it's worth it because I'm able to support myself. I'm so grateful that God has provided this job and the money it gives me. I'm so grateful that God has had His hand in my scheduling that I've been able to go to church and the women's Bible study. God is so good!
Speaking of the women's Bible study, I should tell you a bit about that. When the Bible study first started I was very apprehensive about it because everyone who signed up for was much older than me. So being the youngest person I was afraid that I wouldn't really fit in or relate to the other women. But God showed me something that took away my fears. He showed me that even though I am the youngest woman there I am learning more than ever have in a Bible study with people my age. I know I probably sound a bit crazy but it's true. When I was involved in Bible studies with people my own age I focused more on making friends and making a good impression than studying and learning God's word. With this Bible study I've learned so much in the three weeks since it has started. I've gotten to know some of the ladies and they all love having me there, even though I don't talk much because I'm so busy listening and absorbing everything they're saying. I love the women's Bible study and I love the church I am going to. Admitting that after everything that's happened with the churches I've gone to in the past was difficult. But now I know that Calvary Chapel Yelm is where God wants me.
Well I think that's about it on my end. I'll get to posting more often because there have been quiet a few things on my mind lately that have needed to come off of it. So I leave you with this photo of, well, two of my favorite things...
Next, I have a job at Wendy's. I've been working for Wendy's since the end of June. I'll admit that at times I really, really hate my job just as the saying goes it isn't a job unless you hate it. But I've had this great financial peace since I got my first paycheck that I have never felt in all my years working at other jobs. It feels like even though I hate my job at times it's worth it because I'm able to support myself. I'm so grateful that God has provided this job and the money it gives me. I'm so grateful that God has had His hand in my scheduling that I've been able to go to church and the women's Bible study. God is so good!
Speaking of the women's Bible study, I should tell you a bit about that. When the Bible study first started I was very apprehensive about it because everyone who signed up for was much older than me. So being the youngest person I was afraid that I wouldn't really fit in or relate to the other women. But God showed me something that took away my fears. He showed me that even though I am the youngest woman there I am learning more than ever have in a Bible study with people my age. I know I probably sound a bit crazy but it's true. When I was involved in Bible studies with people my own age I focused more on making friends and making a good impression than studying and learning God's word. With this Bible study I've learned so much in the three weeks since it has started. I've gotten to know some of the ladies and they all love having me there, even though I don't talk much because I'm so busy listening and absorbing everything they're saying. I love the women's Bible study and I love the church I am going to. Admitting that after everything that's happened with the churches I've gone to in the past was difficult. But now I know that Calvary Chapel Yelm is where God wants me.
Well I think that's about it on my end. I'll get to posting more often because there have been quiet a few things on my mind lately that have needed to come off of it. So I leave you with this photo of, well, two of my favorite things...
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Happy Independence Day!
And thank you to all who serve our country and make Independence Day a possibility every year. Stay safe out there everyone and have a blessed day with friends and family!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Second Chances and God's Mercy
I have to be honest I've been struggling a lot with Cursed Names and not in a good way either. I've found that I've spent a majority of the time researching the Roman Empire and Russia instead of writing. (In the book I'm recreating a sort of Roman Empire and the enemy of the Empire is Russia. I know it sounds a bit crazy but trust me it will be awesome!) There's a lot of other reasons for the issues I've been having researching is a pretty big one. But the most important one is that I'm not ready to write Cursed Names yet. I'm not saying it's because I have no idea what I'm doing or I'm not a good enough writer to do the things I'd like with the story. It's because God's showed me that I'm not in a place to write the story.
Sounds strange, I know, but I understand why. I've been praying about my life in the last few days and God has shown me a lot of things that I need to change. A year and a half ago I had this job that I loved but I blew it and ended up getting fired, it's the reason I was unemployed in the first place. Since then I've just felt like I failed in such a way that I was terrified I would just keep repeating the mistakes I made at that job. It was that fear of failing that kept me from trying my absolute hardest to find a new job. I turned into this coward that hid away from everything. I stopped going to church, I stopped reading my Bible, I stopped trying to get a job. I let my fear of failure take over my life. I became scared to even try finishing on of the many books I've started writing. I had changed drastically from the girl who loved God, who went to Mexico to share the love of God with others, who fell in love with the mission field and wanted to go to many more places, who wanted nothing more than to go to Bible college, who wasn't afraid to take a leap of faith. The more I time I spent thinking about the person I used to be and the person I turned into the more I hated myself. I never blamed anyone but myself for the person I've become. I blamed and hated myself.
For the last year and a half I believe that God's has been trying to get my attention and bring me back to Him. I just never listened until a week ago. I was pulled over by a cop and got a huge ticket for speeding and no insurance. It was when I saw those flashing lights that I knew I had hit rock bottom. As I drove home I kept thinking about how I was going to pay a 700 dollar ticket. When I got home I sat on my bed and I just cried. I cried because I was so angry with myself for allowing myself to fall so from the person I had been. I cried because I felt like I would never be worthy of God's love. God broke everything inside of me on that day and He told there was only one I could fix what had been done. So I began to pray like I hadn't done in a very long time. I poured out every idiotic choice, fear, hatred, and blame I had for myself. I gave Him everything I had.
I told my parents about the ticket and they weren't angry which surprised me. My dad looked over the ticket and told me to mail it out and try to get it mitigated so I won't have to pay the large fine and my driving record would remain clean. He also agreed to pay for car insurance for three months and it was my to find a job in that time. We talked for a bit and he told me that I need to pray because the only way this ticket and a job will be taken care of is if God handles it. I knew he was right. I needed to get myself back on track with God. I prayed the rest of the night for God to show me how to get back to being the person I used to be. And I prayed for mercy because God's mercy was the only way this ticket would be taken care of.
The next day I picked up my Bible and Every Day with Jesus by Greg Laurie and I read. In Greg Laurie's book he talked about counting your blessing whenever trails come. I couldn't help but smile at how perfect the topic was for what just happened. I read Psalms 63: 3 and 4, "Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You. Thus I will bless You while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name." After I read those verses I thought, that is exactly what I need to be doing. So I thanked God for giving me that ticket and giving me that wake up call I had needed for so long. I thanked Him for only giving me a ticket instead of something much worse, and I know deserved much worse.
I'm slowly coming back to the person I was. I know it will take time. There are a lot of things God needs to heal inside of me. But I'm holding fast to God's word and never ceasing in my prayers. I know God is going to make me into something better than I could ever imagine when all is said and done. He's given me a second chance and I'm not going to waste it.
Which is what brings me to my writing. I've felt God pressing on my heart to finishing writing this book I started years ago. It's titled Mercy. It's about God's mercy and second chances that are available to everyone. I feel that God is telling me that it's time to crank this one out because of what I'm experiencing right now. I originally put this one on hold because I needed more time to think over the characters and figure out how I was going to work in God's mercy as the main theme. Well, God's shown me exactly how to that. So I'm going to be working on that and I'm not going to stop until it's finished. I'm still going to do research for Cursed Names but Mercy's taking center stage now.
(P.S. I'll keep you updated on the ticket thing and I'll be sure to tell you how Mercy is going.)
Sounds strange, I know, but I understand why. I've been praying about my life in the last few days and God has shown me a lot of things that I need to change. A year and a half ago I had this job that I loved but I blew it and ended up getting fired, it's the reason I was unemployed in the first place. Since then I've just felt like I failed in such a way that I was terrified I would just keep repeating the mistakes I made at that job. It was that fear of failing that kept me from trying my absolute hardest to find a new job. I turned into this coward that hid away from everything. I stopped going to church, I stopped reading my Bible, I stopped trying to get a job. I let my fear of failure take over my life. I became scared to even try finishing on of the many books I've started writing. I had changed drastically from the girl who loved God, who went to Mexico to share the love of God with others, who fell in love with the mission field and wanted to go to many more places, who wanted nothing more than to go to Bible college, who wasn't afraid to take a leap of faith. The more I time I spent thinking about the person I used to be and the person I turned into the more I hated myself. I never blamed anyone but myself for the person I've become. I blamed and hated myself.
For the last year and a half I believe that God's has been trying to get my attention and bring me back to Him. I just never listened until a week ago. I was pulled over by a cop and got a huge ticket for speeding and no insurance. It was when I saw those flashing lights that I knew I had hit rock bottom. As I drove home I kept thinking about how I was going to pay a 700 dollar ticket. When I got home I sat on my bed and I just cried. I cried because I was so angry with myself for allowing myself to fall so from the person I had been. I cried because I felt like I would never be worthy of God's love. God broke everything inside of me on that day and He told there was only one I could fix what had been done. So I began to pray like I hadn't done in a very long time. I poured out every idiotic choice, fear, hatred, and blame I had for myself. I gave Him everything I had.
I told my parents about the ticket and they weren't angry which surprised me. My dad looked over the ticket and told me to mail it out and try to get it mitigated so I won't have to pay the large fine and my driving record would remain clean. He also agreed to pay for car insurance for three months and it was my to find a job in that time. We talked for a bit and he told me that I need to pray because the only way this ticket and a job will be taken care of is if God handles it. I knew he was right. I needed to get myself back on track with God. I prayed the rest of the night for God to show me how to get back to being the person I used to be. And I prayed for mercy because God's mercy was the only way this ticket would be taken care of.
The next day I picked up my Bible and Every Day with Jesus by Greg Laurie and I read. In Greg Laurie's book he talked about counting your blessing whenever trails come. I couldn't help but smile at how perfect the topic was for what just happened. I read Psalms 63: 3 and 4, "Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You. Thus I will bless You while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name." After I read those verses I thought, that is exactly what I need to be doing. So I thanked God for giving me that ticket and giving me that wake up call I had needed for so long. I thanked Him for only giving me a ticket instead of something much worse, and I know deserved much worse.
I'm slowly coming back to the person I was. I know it will take time. There are a lot of things God needs to heal inside of me. But I'm holding fast to God's word and never ceasing in my prayers. I know God is going to make me into something better than I could ever imagine when all is said and done. He's given me a second chance and I'm not going to waste it.
Which is what brings me to my writing. I've felt God pressing on my heart to finishing writing this book I started years ago. It's titled Mercy. It's about God's mercy and second chances that are available to everyone. I feel that God is telling me that it's time to crank this one out because of what I'm experiencing right now. I originally put this one on hold because I needed more time to think over the characters and figure out how I was going to work in God's mercy as the main theme. Well, God's shown me exactly how to that. So I'm going to be working on that and I'm not going to stop until it's finished. I'm still going to do research for Cursed Names but Mercy's taking center stage now.
(P.S. I'll keep you updated on the ticket thing and I'll be sure to tell you how Mercy is going.)
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Rethinking the Important
I was unable to accomplish my second goal of having a complete draft of Cursed Names finished by May 6th. There are a lot of reasons for it but they all boil down to just one. I did not pray and seek God's will before I made my goals. I know it seems like a small, silly thing. But to me it isn't. Just about every major decision in my life I've made without praying and seeking God first have always blown up in my face. Whether it was accepting a job, or choosing to date someone, or coming up with a plot for a book. Without fail, if what I wanted wasn't in God's plan for me it ended badly. Finished Cursed Names in the timing I wanted was definitely not what God wanted.
Last week I was house/babysitting for my cousins, who were on vacation. Not only was I deprived of sleep, but I also stressed myself out way more than necessary trying to find time to write. I had such a hard time writing that I ended up staring at my computer screen more than anything. By day two of my staring at a blank screen I put my computer aside and did my devotions. I hadn't set time aside for devotions for a few days and I really needed to refocus on what was important in my life (especially since everything felt like it was going wrong.) I read the chapter titled the Secret of Contentment in Every Day with Jesus by Greg Laurie, and let me tell you that really put things back in perspective for me. The chapter talks about how we need to put aside what we want and seek God's kingdom first to find the things we need. I'll admit reading the chapter and realizing I was doing just that really stung, like a thousand bees attacked me sort of thing. So I took a step back and prayed about what I should do. God helped me make a new more realistic second goal that I know I will be able to keep up with.
My goal is to write from 5,000 to 10,000 words everyday and to pray before I begin writing.
No dates. No stressing myself out. And no shutting God out.
This time I'm doing it His way not mine.
Last week I was house/babysitting for my cousins, who were on vacation. Not only was I deprived of sleep, but I also stressed myself out way more than necessary trying to find time to write. I had such a hard time writing that I ended up staring at my computer screen more than anything. By day two of my staring at a blank screen I put my computer aside and did my devotions. I hadn't set time aside for devotions for a few days and I really needed to refocus on what was important in my life (especially since everything felt like it was going wrong.) I read the chapter titled the Secret of Contentment in Every Day with Jesus by Greg Laurie, and let me tell you that really put things back in perspective for me. The chapter talks about how we need to put aside what we want and seek God's kingdom first to find the things we need. I'll admit reading the chapter and realizing I was doing just that really stung, like a thousand bees attacked me sort of thing. So I took a step back and prayed about what I should do. God helped me make a new more realistic second goal that I know I will be able to keep up with.
My goal is to write from 5,000 to 10,000 words everyday and to pray before I begin writing.
No dates. No stressing myself out. And no shutting God out.
This time I'm doing it His way not mine.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Goal #1 Completed
Just a quick update on my progress with Cursed Names. I finished the outline on Wednesday instead of Friday so I'm a bit ahead of schedule. (Go me!) And let me tell you I went back and changed stuff about four times before I was finally satisfied with the plot lines flow. But I may change the ending, again, depending on how I decide to tie everything together.
Since I finished the outline early I started typing out the rough draft early. I have the first two chapters finished and I am very happy with them! I'm going to try my hardest to keep up with my writing schedule so I can have the whole thing finished by May 6th. I'm praying that this week will work greatly in my favor so I can accomplish goal number 2.
I must admit that I wasn't able to write yesterday and I probably won't get much done tonight. I'm currently house/babysitting for my cousins while they are on vacation. So I have two kids to take care of all week. I've loaded up on caffeine to get me through the week and while the kidos are at school I'm going to write like there's no tomorrow. Truthfully, I'll probably end up staying up way too late writing and napping during the day.
Please, God, give me the strength and patience to make it through this week and help me manage my time. Amen.
Since I finished the outline early I started typing out the rough draft early. I have the first two chapters finished and I am very happy with them! I'm going to try my hardest to keep up with my writing schedule so I can have the whole thing finished by May 6th. I'm praying that this week will work greatly in my favor so I can accomplish goal number 2.
I must admit that I wasn't able to write yesterday and I probably won't get much done tonight. I'm currently house/babysitting for my cousins while they are on vacation. So I have two kids to take care of all week. I've loaded up on caffeine to get me through the week and while the kidos are at school I'm going to write like there's no tomorrow. Truthfully, I'll probably end up staying up way too late writing and napping during the day.
Please, God, give me the strength and patience to make it through this week and help me manage my time. Amen.
Friday, April 27, 2012
Fanart!
For the last few weeks I was juggling with the idea over whether or not I should continue writing fanfiction. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before but my little sisters encouraged me to start writing fanfiction just to see if people would like the way I write. So I started with a story Bekah, Rachel, and I had come up with which is the Bleach: Phantoms of the Past, story I mentioned in a previous post. After the Bleach story I got an idea for a Soul Eater (really awesome anime/manga but not one I would recommend for kids) fanfiction called Soul Eater: New Horizons and began writing it. I felt like the story had come to a dry spot because it wasn't getting many reviews or as many hits as my first story. I started wondering if I should keep going or just stop writing fanfiction altogether because it felt like my stories just weren't interesting and focus my attention on my original works. I decided that I would post one more chapter and if someone reviewed it I would keep going. Well I got way more than what I expected. I got emails letting me know that I had a review, a favorite, and an alert, all for New Horizons. I was a bit shocked when I saw the emails. I sent a 'thank you' message to the person (I like to thank the people who like my stories.) I got a reply from the girl asking if she could make fanart for New Horizons and, of course, I said yes. So we messaged back and forth her with questions and making sure certain things were ok, I'm not picky so I always said yes and made it clear how excited I was to see her drawings.
And if you haven't already guessed I am going to keep writing fanfiction! I'm going to keep writing fanfiction (along with my original works) because inspiring someone with my stories is what I set out to do as a writer. Having someone want to draw fanart with my characters may seem like a small thing to other people but it means the world to me. I owe a huge thank you to that girl for lifting me up and giving me the boost I needed to keep on writing. She knows I'm talking about her and if you're reading this thank you so much!
I got permission from the artist to share the art here. The fanart is below based on my fanfiction story Soul Eater: New Horizons. I just love the pictures!
And if you haven't already guessed I am going to keep writing fanfiction! I'm going to keep writing fanfiction (along with my original works) because inspiring someone with my stories is what I set out to do as a writer. Having someone want to draw fanart with my characters may seem like a small thing to other people but it means the world to me. I owe a huge thank you to that girl for lifting me up and giving me the boost I needed to keep on writing. She knows I'm talking about her and if you're reading this thank you so much!
I got permission from the artist to share the art here. The fanart is below based on my fanfiction story Soul Eater: New Horizons. I just love the pictures!
This one is of my original characters Death Angel, Sid, and Sully.
And this one is of Death Angel.
I do not own Soul Eater. Soul Eater is manga series created by Atsushi Ohkubo.
I do not own Bleach. Bleach is a manga series created by Tite Kubo.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Outlining and Goals
I'm sorry it has been so long since I lost posted anything. To be honest the months of March and April have not been good months for me at all. In March my Granpa passed away, see this post for all the details. Then I caught this really bad virus where I had a fever for a few days, coughing non stop, plugged up nose, and I just felt terrible for about two weeks. At some point during being sick I pulled the muscles in my ribs from coughing so much and they still hurt like crazy if I sneeze, cough, or have the hiccups. All in all it hasn't been very fun to be me. But on a happier note I have gotten a lot of reading done (go me!) and I've been doing a bit of writing work.
For the writing work I've done something I have only ever done with my fanfiction. I have completely brainstormed the direction I want Cursed Names to go in. This may not seem like a big deal to anyone else but I assure you this is huge for me. With my original work I always hated writing out what I'm going to do with my story. I like to just start writing and see where the story takes me and see how I can surprise myself with what I write. But awhile back I wrote a fanfiction story called Phantoms of the Past with the help of my sisters Bekah and Rachel. The three of us sat down tossing out ideas of what we thought would make a good Bleach story (Bleach is an anime show and manga just in case you were wondering) and the character we would love to see in the story. Once we finished brainstorming I went to work on writing out an outline and then we tweaked it until it was perfect. When I sat down to write everything it was so easy and took next to no time at all to finish. Thinking back on how quickly I was able to write the story I decided to give brainstorming and outlining a try with my original work just to see what would happen. I think it goes without saying that now that I've begun to outline Cursed Names I've had a much easier time with with it. I'll be honest, I have gotten stumped a few times trying to work out who's point of view a chapter should be written in and where to place the background elements of the story.
But I've come to realize something important through this whole thing, outlining saves me a lot more time than if I were just to dive and start writing something. I'm finding that I'm not deleting entire chapters because I'm unhappy with them. I'm saving so much time by having a clear picture of where my story needs to go so my plot has a steady pace instead if going off on rabbit trails and losing focus of the main goal. I was a little unsure if I would be able to surprise myself with the story but I was wrong. The things I've come up with to push my characters to their limits have surprised in ways I don't think they would have if I didn't have an outline. And most importantly I can always go back and change something if I later decide I don't like it.
Now that I have had this wonderful revelation about brainstorming and outlines I have set a few goals for myself. My first goal is have the Cursed Names outline completed by Friday April 27th. My second goal is have a completed first draft of Cursed Names by May 6th, it'll be tricky but I think I can do it. I'm going to give myself a few days away from the book so I can let my mind rest, celebrate my mom's birthday on the 7th, and there is always the chance that I may not finish the draft. My third goal is to start editing out the errors I spot on May 10th and have a printed copy ready for someone to read by May 13th.
Four days to outline, eight days to write, three day break, and three days to edit. All for a total of 18 days to write a book from an idea I've had since January.
I'm not fooling myself into thinking this is going to a breeze because it won't be, completing a book in that amount of time is going to be one of the biggest challenges I've ever made for myself. Am I scared I'll fail miserably? Yes. Am I going to chicken out? No. I'm determined to accomplish all of my goals in the time I've given myself.
I've told you all of this so that I'll be held accountable for completing the goals I've set for myself. I'll post updates as I complete each goal so that you know how my progress is going, and I'll probably rant about what a hard time I'm having of it just so you know. Once all is said and done I will tell you more about Cursed Names and set new goals for self-publishing the book through Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
Shall we begin?
For the writing work I've done something I have only ever done with my fanfiction. I have completely brainstormed the direction I want Cursed Names to go in. This may not seem like a big deal to anyone else but I assure you this is huge for me. With my original work I always hated writing out what I'm going to do with my story. I like to just start writing and see where the story takes me and see how I can surprise myself with what I write. But awhile back I wrote a fanfiction story called Phantoms of the Past with the help of my sisters Bekah and Rachel. The three of us sat down tossing out ideas of what we thought would make a good Bleach story (Bleach is an anime show and manga just in case you were wondering) and the character we would love to see in the story. Once we finished brainstorming I went to work on writing out an outline and then we tweaked it until it was perfect. When I sat down to write everything it was so easy and took next to no time at all to finish. Thinking back on how quickly I was able to write the story I decided to give brainstorming and outlining a try with my original work just to see what would happen. I think it goes without saying that now that I've begun to outline Cursed Names I've had a much easier time with with it. I'll be honest, I have gotten stumped a few times trying to work out who's point of view a chapter should be written in and where to place the background elements of the story.
But I've come to realize something important through this whole thing, outlining saves me a lot more time than if I were just to dive and start writing something. I'm finding that I'm not deleting entire chapters because I'm unhappy with them. I'm saving so much time by having a clear picture of where my story needs to go so my plot has a steady pace instead if going off on rabbit trails and losing focus of the main goal. I was a little unsure if I would be able to surprise myself with the story but I was wrong. The things I've come up with to push my characters to their limits have surprised in ways I don't think they would have if I didn't have an outline. And most importantly I can always go back and change something if I later decide I don't like it.
Now that I have had this wonderful revelation about brainstorming and outlines I have set a few goals for myself. My first goal is have the Cursed Names outline completed by Friday April 27th. My second goal is have a completed first draft of Cursed Names by May 6th, it'll be tricky but I think I can do it. I'm going to give myself a few days away from the book so I can let my mind rest, celebrate my mom's birthday on the 7th, and there is always the chance that I may not finish the draft. My third goal is to start editing out the errors I spot on May 10th and have a printed copy ready for someone to read by May 13th.
Four days to outline, eight days to write, three day break, and three days to edit. All for a total of 18 days to write a book from an idea I've had since January.
I'm not fooling myself into thinking this is going to a breeze because it won't be, completing a book in that amount of time is going to be one of the biggest challenges I've ever made for myself. Am I scared I'll fail miserably? Yes. Am I going to chicken out? No. I'm determined to accomplish all of my goals in the time I've given myself.
I've told you all of this so that I'll be held accountable for completing the goals I've set for myself. I'll post updates as I complete each goal so that you know how my progress is going, and I'll probably rant about what a hard time I'm having of it just so you know. Once all is said and done I will tell you more about Cursed Names and set new goals for self-publishing the book through Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
Shall we begin?
Sunday, March 11, 2012
My Grandpa, My Hero
For as long as I can remember my grandpa has always been a big part of my life. I remember growing up and always knowing who he was and having such good times with him. There are tons of memories to chose from but there are three that stand out the most to me.
The first was going out the this Italian restaurant with my grandparents and family, at the restaurant Granpa (I always pronounce Grandpa without the D and I call him Ganpa) would give me, Robert, and Allison to play the arcade games while we waited for our food. Most of the time me and Robert would blow through our quarters and then ask him for more which he gave us after we ate, Allison was smart in making her quarters last until our parents called us over to eat. I love those memories most because Granpa never seemed to run out of quarters. I still don't know if that was 'cause he was always prepared when we went to the restaurant or if he just liked caring around a bunch of quarters (I was never brave enough to ask.)
The second memory was before I learned how to swim and Granpa rescued me. It happened when my brother was helping Granpa drain out the pool and they were in the process of filling it back up. Allison and I were wandering around on the deck that surrounded the pool and decided to get our hair wet. I'm sure you all can figure out what happened next. Well, the water was just hair enough to get Allison's hair wet (she had longer hair and was taller by the way) but not mine so I leaned farther forward until the ends of my hair got wet. Needless to say I lost my balance and fell in the deep end of the pool. I don't remember exactly how I old I was but I could not swim and I could not touch the bottom because I was too short. The next thing I remember after falling into the pool is Granpa rushing over and helping me out of the water. After that well I avoided the edges of the pool and the deep end of the pool for a very long time (unless I had floaties on.)
And the third which my family still teases me about to this day is the time I asked Granpa how old he was. So all the family on my mom's side used to live in California and they slowly migrated up to Washington...my immediate family stayed in California until a few months after my grandma passed away. When we moved up to Washington we lived with my aunt, cousin, and granpa. One night at the dinner table I was sitting next to Granpa and I asked him how old he was. He replied with, "I walked around the walls of Jericho with Joshua and entered the promise land. That's how old I am." I was about ten or eleven so my first thought was "Awesome! You knew Joshua from the Bible!" but I was smart enough not to say it allowed. I don't remember what I said back but everyone at the dinner table jumped in on the joke that Granpa really did walk around the walls of Jericho. So I really did believe them because I thought everyone was telling me the truth. During clean up Granpa told me he was just joking and didn't really walk around the walls of Jericho. I learned from then to always second guess the answer anyone on my mom's side of the family gives me unless I know without a doubt that they are being serious.
As time passed my parents moved into a house about forty minutes away from where Granpa lived so I wasn't able to spend as much time with him as I had when I was kid. With the distance and time Granpa's health started taking a turn for the worse. He was diagnosed with dementia and slowly he began to forget about the people he didn't have as much contact with. His dementia progressed and Alzheimer's took whatever memories had left. A few days ago Granpa suffered a bad stroke and is now paralyzed on the right side and he can no longer communicate with other's the way he used to. I don't know whether the thought of loosing Granpa or the fact that he doesn't remember me hurts more. I've watched Granpa at the hospital and I can't help but wonder if while he's dreaming memories that have been forgotten dance before his eyes. Memories of his wife, of his children, of his grandchildren, and of his great-grandchildren. I wonder if he dreams of all things he's forgotten and if he's happy.
Even if he never remembers I will always remember my grandpa, my hero, as the wise man that he always been. I will forever remember him like this:
The first was going out the this Italian restaurant with my grandparents and family, at the restaurant Granpa (I always pronounce Grandpa without the D and I call him Ganpa) would give me, Robert, and Allison to play the arcade games while we waited for our food. Most of the time me and Robert would blow through our quarters and then ask him for more which he gave us after we ate, Allison was smart in making her quarters last until our parents called us over to eat. I love those memories most because Granpa never seemed to run out of quarters. I still don't know if that was 'cause he was always prepared when we went to the restaurant or if he just liked caring around a bunch of quarters (I was never brave enough to ask.)
The second memory was before I learned how to swim and Granpa rescued me. It happened when my brother was helping Granpa drain out the pool and they were in the process of filling it back up. Allison and I were wandering around on the deck that surrounded the pool and decided to get our hair wet. I'm sure you all can figure out what happened next. Well, the water was just hair enough to get Allison's hair wet (she had longer hair and was taller by the way) but not mine so I leaned farther forward until the ends of my hair got wet. Needless to say I lost my balance and fell in the deep end of the pool. I don't remember exactly how I old I was but I could not swim and I could not touch the bottom because I was too short. The next thing I remember after falling into the pool is Granpa rushing over and helping me out of the water. After that well I avoided the edges of the pool and the deep end of the pool for a very long time (unless I had floaties on.)
And the third which my family still teases me about to this day is the time I asked Granpa how old he was. So all the family on my mom's side used to live in California and they slowly migrated up to Washington...my immediate family stayed in California until a few months after my grandma passed away. When we moved up to Washington we lived with my aunt, cousin, and granpa. One night at the dinner table I was sitting next to Granpa and I asked him how old he was. He replied with, "I walked around the walls of Jericho with Joshua and entered the promise land. That's how old I am." I was about ten or eleven so my first thought was "Awesome! You knew Joshua from the Bible!" but I was smart enough not to say it allowed. I don't remember what I said back but everyone at the dinner table jumped in on the joke that Granpa really did walk around the walls of Jericho. So I really did believe them because I thought everyone was telling me the truth. During clean up Granpa told me he was just joking and didn't really walk around the walls of Jericho. I learned from then to always second guess the answer anyone on my mom's side of the family gives me unless I know without a doubt that they are being serious.
As time passed my parents moved into a house about forty minutes away from where Granpa lived so I wasn't able to spend as much time with him as I had when I was kid. With the distance and time Granpa's health started taking a turn for the worse. He was diagnosed with dementia and slowly he began to forget about the people he didn't have as much contact with. His dementia progressed and Alzheimer's took whatever memories had left. A few days ago Granpa suffered a bad stroke and is now paralyzed on the right side and he can no longer communicate with other's the way he used to. I don't know whether the thought of loosing Granpa or the fact that he doesn't remember me hurts more. I've watched Granpa at the hospital and I can't help but wonder if while he's dreaming memories that have been forgotten dance before his eyes. Memories of his wife, of his children, of his grandchildren, and of his great-grandchildren. I wonder if he dreams of all things he's forgotten and if he's happy.
Even if he never remembers I will always remember my grandpa, my hero, as the wise man that he always been. I will forever remember him like this:
All the adventures we had while my grandparents camped out on beaches when they came to California to visit. There was always a new beach and also a new trail to walk. I saw my first my sunset with my grandparents on one the beaches they stayed at.
My Grandma and my Grandpa. They were always together.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
I Need Some Prayer and Advice
I've been thinking a lot recently about my unemployment and how I want to publish my books.
I'll be honest I have been unemployed since November of 2010 with only one job that last less than a month (I really don't consider that job a break in my unemployment since I didn't work a full twenty hours a week). I've struggled so much in the last year and I am eternally grateful to my parents for everything that they have done to help me. But it still doesn't change the fact that I am 21 years old and cannot support myself like I should be able to. There are so many things I would love to do but I am unable to do them for a number reasons and the main one being I can't pay for anything. I feel like I'm stuck in this very bad, very big, and horrible rut that I can't ever get out of no matter what I do. I know that I am not the only person out there who is struggle and I know that my situation is far more favorable than others. I just want you to understand the predicament I am in before I ask for your advice. (Don't feel bad for me either because it's my fault and no one else's that I was unemployed in the first place, but that's a long horrific story for another time.)
Now I want to become a published author with my books printed and sold in book stores and have a wonderful book deal and I could probably go on forever but I'll stop myself there. Sarah (my soon-to-be-sister-in-law) showed me a blog post by her favorite author and it really got me thinking about publishing e-books. The more I think about it the more I realize that my idea of being a published author may not be what God has planed for me. I've praying a lot lately about self publishing e-books with Amazon as a means of income and a way to get my books known. But I also know that there are so many books that aren't very good on Amazon and I fear that mine might become on of those.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need prayer that God will reveal exactly what He wants for me with this huge decision I need to make.
And the advice I am seeking is from people who have self published e-books with Amazon or other e-book companies and what their experiences were. If you know of anything at all that might help I would greatly appreciate it.
Lastly, I wanted to let you know that the reason I am asking all this out of the blue is because I have a finished draft of one of my book and all it needs is some revising and then it will be finished. After that's completed I am going to have a few people read over it to make sure everything flows well and my grammar isn't so horrible it will make people cry. (I am not above admitting that I completely suck at grammar, after all I rely on spell check as much as Lois from Smallville does.) It shouldn't take long to do all that and I don't want to be sitting with a finished book thinking "Now what?" for months and months while I juggle with how to get it published.
So please help me!
I'll be honest I have been unemployed since November of 2010 with only one job that last less than a month (I really don't consider that job a break in my unemployment since I didn't work a full twenty hours a week). I've struggled so much in the last year and I am eternally grateful to my parents for everything that they have done to help me. But it still doesn't change the fact that I am 21 years old and cannot support myself like I should be able to. There are so many things I would love to do but I am unable to do them for a number reasons and the main one being I can't pay for anything. I feel like I'm stuck in this very bad, very big, and horrible rut that I can't ever get out of no matter what I do. I know that I am not the only person out there who is struggle and I know that my situation is far more favorable than others. I just want you to understand the predicament I am in before I ask for your advice. (Don't feel bad for me either because it's my fault and no one else's that I was unemployed in the first place, but that's a long horrific story for another time.)
Now I want to become a published author with my books printed and sold in book stores and have a wonderful book deal and I could probably go on forever but I'll stop myself there. Sarah (my soon-to-be-sister-in-law) showed me a blog post by her favorite author and it really got me thinking about publishing e-books. The more I think about it the more I realize that my idea of being a published author may not be what God has planed for me. I've praying a lot lately about self publishing e-books with Amazon as a means of income and a way to get my books known. But I also know that there are so many books that aren't very good on Amazon and I fear that mine might become on of those.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need prayer that God will reveal exactly what He wants for me with this huge decision I need to make.
And the advice I am seeking is from people who have self published e-books with Amazon or other e-book companies and what their experiences were. If you know of anything at all that might help I would greatly appreciate it.
Lastly, I wanted to let you know that the reason I am asking all this out of the blue is because I have a finished draft of one of my book and all it needs is some revising and then it will be finished. After that's completed I am going to have a few people read over it to make sure everything flows well and my grammar isn't so horrible it will make people cry. (I am not above admitting that I completely suck at grammar, after all I rely on spell check as much as Lois from Smallville does.) It shouldn't take long to do all that and I don't want to be sitting with a finished book thinking "Now what?" for months and months while I juggle with how to get it published.
So please help me!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Forgetfulness
I hate how I can be so forgetful at times, especially when it comes to writing. The other day I was thinking about how to describe a book I'm working on in one sentence. I came up with really cool and awesome sentence but I didn't write it down, mostly because I was laying to down to go to sleep and didn't want to blind myself by turning on the light. I thought to myself, "Self, I need to write this down before I forget." Then self replied with, "You'll remember this in the morning and can write it down then." So I listened and fell asleep repeating that sentence over and over in my head. Well I think you figured out that in the morning I did NOT remember that sentence. Throughout my morning routine I mentally beat myself up trying to remember what the sentence was. But my valiant efforts were in vain because I still can't remember the sentence.
The lesson I learned from this is to never listen to my lazy self...ever.
The lesson I learned from this is to never listen to my lazy self...ever.
Although, I did come up with a good sentence to describe the other book I'm working on called Cursed Names. The sentence is: Is a person cursed to the same fate as their namesake?
I know it may not seem like that great of a sentence to describe something but to be completely honest that pretty much sums up the entire book. There are far more details and twists and basically all the good stuff that makes books so wonderful. However the gist of the story revolves around whether a person is fated to repeat what that person's namesake did or not.
I think it's a cool story line and I absolutely the characters in the book too. But that could just be me since I'm the author.
Friday, February 17, 2012
The Elephant Story
I have a lot of nicknames most of them given to me because of the incredibly stupid things I do. A few of them are Captain Obvious (I don't think I need to explain that one), Sarah Pattera (misspelled my last name for this drawing thing and it turned out I won), Sarah Sizzler (I loved the restaurant and wanted to marry it when I was a kid), Pouty Polly (I was cold but my friend thought I was pouting), and Sumbo. Sumbo would have to be my favorite one because there is quite a story that goes along with it.
It's a well known fact that it is next to impossible to get me to cry. The only cases where I've cried is when something really, really, really, really bad or sad or emotional happens but other than that I don't actually shed tears...like ever. I might tear up but the water stays in my eyes. I also don't get worked over silly things that really aren't important and I couldn't care less about it. Because of this my mom and Allison would say that I have no feelings. I don't remember exactly how the conversation went between my mom, me, and Allison but it resulted in me receiving a new nickname. We were talking about some movie we all watched and how during this very emotional part my mom and sister cried but I didn't. Out of nowhere Allison say something along the lines of "Of course you wouldn't cry because you have no feeling like an elephant." I just stared at her wondering what smart-alec comeback would work best in a situation where I was basically called an elephant. My mom chimes in with "Elephants have rubber skin and everything bonces off them just like you." I was at a complete loss for words...how does a person respond to that? My little sisters were sitting nearby when all this was said and they bust up laughing and start calling me an elephant. So then I was just called an elephant 'cause I have no feelings and my skin is made of rubber. Not long after that my sisters and mom start rattling off a list of elephant names that they could name me. So Allison says, "How about Sumbo? Like Dumbo but with an S for Sarah." Everyone agreed on that so I was then known as Sumbo to my family. Allison also renamed me in her cell phone so Sumbo showed up when I texted her.
At first this nickname really bothered me because who in their right mind wants to be compared to a 2,000 pound animal with a very large trunk. So I fought the name at every turn which did absolutely nothing. So I did the only thing a sane person in my situation would have done and went along with it.
And now my favorite animal is an elephant. I have an awesome elephant necklace, bookmark, stuffed animal, and Christmas ornament. The whole no emotion thing works wonders when my loving teases me about the stupid stuff I do. Sumbo is a pretty clever nickname too. So I suppose this whole elephant thing wasn't so bad after all.
That's the story behind the nickname you'll probably see mentioned often.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Why I Write
I have never really told anyone all the reasons why I write. I mean I've told people most of the reason why I write but never the one reason ultimately drives me.
When I first started writing I was 17 years old and sitting at my desk with this story in my head that I wanted to get onto paper. So I started writing in this really thick notebook I had had for years (this notebook also traveled with me to Mexico but that's a story for another time) and it was practically empty. The things I really thought about while I was writing this story was how awesome it was to create something uniquely my own and make into a book. I loved sitting at my desk for hours just writing because I loved it. It felt like I finally found something that I loved to do not because I had to but because I wanted to. I loved putting words to paper and creating this words where anything is possible. It helped that I was darn good at it too.
Reason number one: I love writing.
I began writing a second book when I was suffering from severe writers block on the first one. I began the second one with just one clear purpose: to show people that everyone deserves a second chance from God, no matter what. I can't say where I got the idea for it. I can't say why I even decided to go with it. All I know is that I felt like I should write it. The more I thought and prayed about this book the clearer my vision for the book became. For this one I truly felt God guiding my hand in writing it. I know there may be people there who thinks this is absolutely crazy and that's fine, it honestly doesn't make a difference to me.
Reason number two: I feel this is what God wants me to do.
The last reason is a bit embarrassing and a feel weird actually admitting it. I've never had the guts to tell anyone this because it just seems so far fetched. I want to inspire people with my writing. I read tons of books where the author inspires me with their words. And I know it sounds very cheesy but I want to do the same. I don't care about fame or money or being known as a great author. With every book I write if I could just inspire one person then that's more than enough for me. I want someone to read my books and in some way change them for the better. I want to be an author that had fans that love my books as much as I do.
Reason number three: I want to inspire others.
And those are the reasons why I write.
When I first started writing I was 17 years old and sitting at my desk with this story in my head that I wanted to get onto paper. So I started writing in this really thick notebook I had had for years (this notebook also traveled with me to Mexico but that's a story for another time) and it was practically empty. The things I really thought about while I was writing this story was how awesome it was to create something uniquely my own and make into a book. I loved sitting at my desk for hours just writing because I loved it. It felt like I finally found something that I loved to do not because I had to but because I wanted to. I loved putting words to paper and creating this words where anything is possible. It helped that I was darn good at it too.
Reason number one: I love writing.
I began writing a second book when I was suffering from severe writers block on the first one. I began the second one with just one clear purpose: to show people that everyone deserves a second chance from God, no matter what. I can't say where I got the idea for it. I can't say why I even decided to go with it. All I know is that I felt like I should write it. The more I thought and prayed about this book the clearer my vision for the book became. For this one I truly felt God guiding my hand in writing it. I know there may be people there who thinks this is absolutely crazy and that's fine, it honestly doesn't make a difference to me.
Reason number two: I feel this is what God wants me to do.
The last reason is a bit embarrassing and a feel weird actually admitting it. I've never had the guts to tell anyone this because it just seems so far fetched. I want to inspire people with my writing. I read tons of books where the author inspires me with their words. And I know it sounds very cheesy but I want to do the same. I don't care about fame or money or being known as a great author. With every book I write if I could just inspire one person then that's more than enough for me. I want someone to read my books and in some way change them for the better. I want to be an author that had fans that love my books as much as I do.
Reason number three: I want to inspire others.
And those are the reasons why I write.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
A Little Bit About Me
Hello! So I think I should start this blog off by telling you a bit more about me than what's in the about me section. My name is Sarah...I hope you've noticed that (haha my attempt at humor feel free not to laugh I do not mind.)
I am humongous nerd! I love Batman, he's my favorite superhero. I like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Halo, manga, anime, and most DC Comics superheros (just not Aquaman he's horrible.) My knowledge of these topics is rather pathetic and has never really helped me in life but I enjoy my nerdiness. Any fellow nerds out there I applaud you for being a nerd!
I love to read. I call it my obsession since I can't seem to ever stop reading. I always have a book with me and if I don't it's either because I am going a sequel or just finished something and am thinking said book. I couldn't pick a favorite genre mostly because I love just about everything I read. I like classics, young adult, fiction, sci-fi, fantasy, suspense, some horror, and christian fiction. See I really do like all books. I have a GoodReads account if you want to keep up with what I am reading since it chances almost daily...the link is on the right side of the menu list thingy.
And if you noticed the links I have to admit that I do write fanfiction. I write fanfiction because it helps to clear my head and get feedback on my style of writing. Since I began writing fanfiction I have learned quite a bit about the dos and don'ts of writing. It's a great learning experience. Not to mention the fans are awesome! It's a scary and great feeling reading the reviews people make of my stories and in a sense it's preparing me for the reviews I will get on my published work in the future.
I should introduce my family since I will mention them frequently. My mom and dad are hilariously funny and are a huge part of my life. Without them I wouldn't have had the courage to become a writer to begin with. I have one older brother, Robert. He is a huge nerd like myself, he is a mechanic and I go to him for all my car needs, and he is also engaged to a Sarah. My soon-to-be-sister-in-law, Sarah, is a blast and I can't wait to have her in the family even though we'll be sharing the same name. I have one older sister, Allison. Allison is a sister in the truest sense because we fight, laugh, hate, and love each other like all sisters do. Lastly my two wonderful younger sister, Bekah and Rachel. Those two girls are awesome and I meant it, you'll understand the more I mention them. They introduced me to manga and anime, we go on adventures to book stores every few months, and we play Rock Band often as loud as we can without disturbing the neighbors. That's my family I will probably talk about them often.
I need you to understand one thing about me that may change quite a few people minds about reading this blog or anything I may publish. I am a born again Christian. God comes first in my life. I know being a Christian can cause issues with other people but I need you to understand that I will never try to convert you. I am the type of person that if you want to talk about God with me cool, if not that's cool too. I hope this fact doesn't not prohibit you from continuing to read this blog and won't stop you from reading anything I publish in the future.
Now, I shall tell you what exactly this blog is about or what I will be writing about in this blog. I don't what the rules for blogging are and frankly I don't really care, call me a rebel if you want. I will be basically talking about me as a writer, me as a nerd, me as a sister, and me as a lover of books. And so you're prepared I will probably annoy you with my useless nerd facts or you'll find it all bizarre and hilarious. (I am hoping for the latter.)
Well anyways I hope you'll continue on reading this blog and share my adventures...here's to a wonderfully start!
I am humongous nerd! I love Batman, he's my favorite superhero. I like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Halo, manga, anime, and most DC Comics superheros (just not Aquaman he's horrible.) My knowledge of these topics is rather pathetic and has never really helped me in life but I enjoy my nerdiness. Any fellow nerds out there I applaud you for being a nerd!
I love to read. I call it my obsession since I can't seem to ever stop reading. I always have a book with me and if I don't it's either because I am going a sequel or just finished something and am thinking said book. I couldn't pick a favorite genre mostly because I love just about everything I read. I like classics, young adult, fiction, sci-fi, fantasy, suspense, some horror, and christian fiction. See I really do like all books. I have a GoodReads account if you want to keep up with what I am reading since it chances almost daily...the link is on the right side of the menu list thingy.
And if you noticed the links I have to admit that I do write fanfiction. I write fanfiction because it helps to clear my head and get feedback on my style of writing. Since I began writing fanfiction I have learned quite a bit about the dos and don'ts of writing. It's a great learning experience. Not to mention the fans are awesome! It's a scary and great feeling reading the reviews people make of my stories and in a sense it's preparing me for the reviews I will get on my published work in the future.
I should introduce my family since I will mention them frequently. My mom and dad are hilariously funny and are a huge part of my life. Without them I wouldn't have had the courage to become a writer to begin with. I have one older brother, Robert. He is a huge nerd like myself, he is a mechanic and I go to him for all my car needs, and he is also engaged to a Sarah. My soon-to-be-sister-in-law, Sarah, is a blast and I can't wait to have her in the family even though we'll be sharing the same name. I have one older sister, Allison. Allison is a sister in the truest sense because we fight, laugh, hate, and love each other like all sisters do. Lastly my two wonderful younger sister, Bekah and Rachel. Those two girls are awesome and I meant it, you'll understand the more I mention them. They introduced me to manga and anime, we go on adventures to book stores every few months, and we play Rock Band often as loud as we can without disturbing the neighbors. That's my family I will probably talk about them often.
I need you to understand one thing about me that may change quite a few people minds about reading this blog or anything I may publish. I am a born again Christian. God comes first in my life. I know being a Christian can cause issues with other people but I need you to understand that I will never try to convert you. I am the type of person that if you want to talk about God with me cool, if not that's cool too. I hope this fact doesn't not prohibit you from continuing to read this blog and won't stop you from reading anything I publish in the future.
Now, I shall tell you what exactly this blog is about or what I will be writing about in this blog. I don't what the rules for blogging are and frankly I don't really care, call me a rebel if you want. I will be basically talking about me as a writer, me as a nerd, me as a sister, and me as a lover of books. And so you're prepared I will probably annoy you with my useless nerd facts or you'll find it all bizarre and hilarious. (I am hoping for the latter.)
Well anyways I hope you'll continue on reading this blog and share my adventures...here's to a wonderfully start!
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