I Need Some Prayer and Advice

I've been thinking a lot recently about my unemployment and how I want to publish my books.

I'll be honest I have been unemployed since November of 2010 with only one job that last less than a month (I really don't consider that job a break in my unemployment since I didn't work a full twenty hours a week).  I've struggled so much in the last year and I am eternally grateful to my parents for everything that they have done to help me.  But it still doesn't change the fact that I am 21 years old and cannot support myself like I should be able to.  There are so many things I would love to do but I am unable to do them for a number reasons and the main one being I can't pay for anything.  I feel like I'm stuck in this very bad, very big, and horrible rut that I can't ever get out of no matter what I do.  I know that I am not the only person out there who is struggle and I know that my situation is far more favorable than others.  I just want you to understand the predicament I am in before I ask for your advice.  (Don't feel bad for me either because it's my fault and no one else's that I was unemployed in the first place, but that's a long horrific story for another time.)

Now I want to become a published author with my books printed and sold in book stores and have a wonderful book deal and I could probably go on forever but I'll stop myself there.  Sarah (my soon-to-be-sister-in-law) showed me a blog post by her favorite author and it really got me thinking about publishing e-books.  The more I think about it the more I realize that my idea of being a published author may not be what God has planed for me.  I've praying a lot lately about self publishing e-books with Amazon as a means of income and a way to get my books known.  But I also know that there are so many books that aren't very good on Amazon and I fear that mine might become on of those.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need prayer that God will reveal exactly what He wants for me with this huge decision I need to make.

And the advice I am seeking is from people who have self published e-books with Amazon or other e-book companies and what their experiences were.  If you know of anything at all that might help I would greatly appreciate it.

Lastly, I wanted to let you know that the reason I am asking all this out of the blue is because I have a finished draft of one of my book and all it needs is some revising and then it will be finished.  After that's completed I am going to have a few people read over it to make sure everything flows well and my grammar isn't so horrible it will make people cry.  (I am not above admitting that I completely suck at grammar, after all I rely on spell check as much as Lois from Smallville does.)  It shouldn't take long to do all that and I don't want to be sitting with a finished book thinking "Now what?" for months and months while I juggle with how to get it published.

So please help me!

Forgetfulness

I hate how I can be so forgetful at times, especially when it comes to writing.  The other day I was thinking about how to describe a book I'm working on in one sentence.  I came up with really cool and awesome sentence but I didn't write it down, mostly because I was laying to down to go to sleep and didn't want to blind myself by turning on the light.  I thought to myself, "Self, I need to write this down before I forget."  Then self replied with, "You'll remember this in the morning and can write it down then."  So I listened and fell asleep repeating that sentence over and over in my head.  Well I think you figured out that in the morning I did NOT remember that sentence.  Throughout my morning routine I mentally beat myself up trying to remember what the sentence was.  But my valiant efforts were in vain because I still can't remember the sentence.

The lesson I learned from this is to never listen to my lazy self...ever.

Although, I did come up with a good sentence to describe the other book I'm working on called Cursed Names.  The sentence is:  Is a person cursed to the same fate as their namesake?

I know it may not seem like that great of a sentence to describe something but to be completely honest that pretty much sums up the entire book.  There are far more details and twists and basically all the good stuff that makes books so wonderful.  However the gist of the story revolves around whether a person is fated to repeat what that person's namesake did or not.

I think it's a cool story line and I absolutely the characters in the book too.  But that could just be me since I'm the author.

The Elephant Story

I have a lot of nicknames most of them given to me because of the incredibly stupid things I do.  A few of them are Captain Obvious (I don't think I need to explain that one), Sarah Pattera (misspelled my last name for this drawing thing and it turned out I won), Sarah Sizzler (I loved the restaurant and wanted to marry it when I was a kid), Pouty Polly (I was cold but my friend thought I was pouting), and Sumbo.  Sumbo would have to be my favorite one because there is quite a story that goes along with it.

It's a well known fact that it is next to impossible to get me to cry.  The only cases where I've cried is when something really, really, really, really bad or sad or emotional happens but other than that I don't actually shed tears...like ever.  I might tear up but the water stays in my eyes.  I also don't get worked over silly things that really aren't important and I couldn't care less about it.  Because of this my mom and Allison would say that I have no feelings.  I don't remember exactly how the conversation went between my mom, me, and Allison but it resulted in me receiving a new nickname.  We were talking about some movie we all watched and how during this very emotional part my mom and sister cried but I didn't.  Out of nowhere Allison say something along the lines of "Of course you wouldn't cry because you have no feeling like an elephant."  I just stared at her wondering what smart-alec comeback would work best in a situation where I was basically called an elephant.  My mom chimes in with "Elephants have rubber skin and everything bonces off them just like you."  I was at a complete loss for words...how does a person respond to that?  My little sisters were sitting nearby when all this was said and they bust up laughing and start calling me an elephant.  So then I was just called an elephant 'cause I have no feelings and my skin is made of rubber.  Not long after that my sisters and mom start rattling off a list of elephant names that they could name me.  So Allison says, "How about Sumbo?  Like Dumbo but with an S for Sarah."  Everyone agreed on that so I was then known as Sumbo to my family.  Allison also renamed me in her cell phone so Sumbo showed up when I texted her.

At first this nickname really bothered me because who in their right mind wants to be compared to a 2,000 pound animal with a very large trunk.  So I fought the name at every turn which did absolutely nothing.  So I did the only thing a sane person in my situation would have done and went along with it.

And now my favorite animal is an elephant.  I have an awesome elephant necklace, bookmark, stuffed animal, and Christmas ornament.  The whole no emotion thing works wonders when my loving teases me about the stupid stuff I do.  Sumbo is a pretty clever nickname too.  So I suppose this whole elephant thing wasn't so bad after all.

That's the story behind the nickname you'll probably see mentioned often.

Why I Write

I have never really told anyone all the reasons why I write.  I mean I've told people most of the reason why I write but never the one reason ultimately drives me.

When I first started writing I was 17 years old and sitting at my desk with this story in my head that I wanted to get onto paper.  So I started writing in this really thick notebook I had had for years (this notebook also traveled with me to Mexico but that's a story for another time) and it was practically empty.  The things I really thought about while I was writing this story was how awesome it was to create something uniquely my own and make into a book.  I loved sitting at my desk for hours just writing because I loved it.  It felt like I finally found something that I loved to do not because I had to but because I wanted to.  I loved putting words to paper and creating this words where anything is possible.  It helped that I was darn good at it too.

Reason number one: I love writing.

I began writing a second book when I was suffering from severe writers block on the first one.  I began the second one with just one clear purpose: to show people that everyone deserves a second chance from God, no matter what.  I can't say where I got the idea for it.  I can't say why I even decided to go with it.  All I know is that I felt like I should write it.  The more I thought and prayed about this book the clearer my vision for the book became.  For this one I truly felt God guiding my hand in writing it.  I know there may be people there who thinks this is absolutely crazy and that's fine, it honestly doesn't make a difference to me.

Reason number two: I feel this is what God wants me to do.

The last reason is a bit embarrassing and a feel weird actually admitting it.  I've never had the guts to tell anyone this because it just seems so far fetched.  I want to inspire people with my writing.  I read tons of books where the author inspires me with their words.  And I know it sounds very cheesy but I want to do the same.  I don't care about fame or money or being known as a great author.  With every book I write if I could just inspire one person then that's more than enough for me.  I want someone to read my books and in some way change them for the better.  I want to be an author that had fans that love my books as much as I do.

Reason number three: I want to inspire others.

And those are the reasons why I write.